While some friends of Wilt are off to the near East for a long sojourn (for a month no less) Mr & Mrs Wilt are away shortly to the Channel Islands for a week and later (September) also with Ms Wilt back to Egypt – but not, I emphasise, Cairo.
Not after this last experience: http://regulatorwatch.co.uk/2010/07/virgin%E2%80%9D-on-the-ridiculous/
The Channel Islands are a new adventure for the Wilts. Egypt is not. While in Egypt Mrs and Ms Wilt no doubt be listening to their Ipods whilst roasting in the sun. Wilt will be in the shade, with a beer and a book.
Master Wilt will be chasing after his rather glamorous new girlfriend back at Oxbridge.
Even in mid-September it is 38c (100.4f) in Egypt. This time, we plan less sightseeing and more a relaxing time around the pool with lots of Egyptian beer – what they call beer. No cider, unfortunately and Salty Dog will be residing with mother in law for the duration – no cider there either.
Poor Salty Dog!
Another superior hotel, albeit not quite up to the Four Seasons standard in Cairo, awaits the Wilts – we have been there before and the standards and service are better than any in the UK, and indeed in the US. The pool (s) with its own “island” bar is brilliant – get drunk, fall off the stool and hopefully not drown!
There are no lifeguards.
And the gardens are absolute bliss. It shares it with its sister 5 star hotel, probably the most famous of hotels in Egypt – and about the most expensive. Yet we get to use those facilities too, if you care to spend huge amounts on a meal or on drinks on the terrace overlooking one of the best sunsets in the world.
Otherwise, you pop down the road to a restaurant and pay £5 a head for a perfectly good two course evening meal with (soft) drinks. Yes, I did say £5.00 – no joking. Egypt is so cheap, if you know the right places, as to be ridiculous.
Egyptian wine – well that is a bit of a sad story. Once when Wilt was on a Nile Cruise there was a competition and the first prize was one bottle of Egyptian wine and the second prize two bottles of Egyptian wine – even the Egyptians admit it is crap. So avoid it unless you have a serious alcohol problem.
The trouble with Egypt is that there is no reliable supply of UK newspapers – never mind, we have free Wi-Fi and with the trusty laptop Wilt et al can keep up to date. I wonder if it works around the poolside – indeed is the laptop waterproof?
We will find out.
Now all we need is a few pair of shorts, sandals, t-shirts, passport, laptop, shades and a few good books. Come September, even with the Chanel Island break, Wilt et al will be very ready for some simple relaxation.
Oh, and we avoided Egyptair to get there and back – thank Gawd!
Meanwhile however Wilt has several other trips overseas for business, a UK business contract up North for a week, several reports to complete and about £70,000 worth of invoices to process – plus the Gawd awful VAT return!
When for Gawd sake will Wilt next get to North Wales – he is missing it! Fortunately for Salty Dog, she has a week long holiday there with Mrs, Ms and Master Wilt (and girlfriend) shortly – Wilt is otherwise engaged on a contract elsewhere. Mmmmmm.
Nevertheless, life is good.
Wilt
Dear Wilt
ReplyDeleteGood to see you are getting a wee holiday in foreign parts. My dad, once went to foreign parts. He went to Lourdes. He said he would never go to foreign parts again. He said them foreigners do not know what real food is. He was half starved by the time he came back.
My advice to you is make sure you stuff your suitcase full of real food, pork pies,crisps, H.P. sauce and pickled eggs. You do not want to have the same experience as my dad.
Have a nice holiday
Andersonstown Andy
Dear Wilt
ReplyDeleteMrs C is going on holiday. She is going to Salem, Oregon, U.S.A. She will be travelling with Randel Patrick McMurphy and Nurse Ratched. They will be staying at the Oregon State Mental Hospital. This is of course the location of the film, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. Randel Partick McMurphy is sane in comparison to Mrs C.
Big Boy Behan
What am I doing wrong? I remain here to reveal interesting NISCC trivia to regulatorwatch such as the following. The most often found female name on the NISCC register is Mary at 594, followed by Marie at about a third of that. This is almost certainly because it is an irish register and in no small part because historically more of the catholic population have tended to enter social care than protestants. Quite why this is is the subject of speculation. I know not why and do not really wish to hazard a guess. Perhaps Andy of Andytown would know?
ReplyDeleteWilt and Mrs Wilt should try a trip to NI to savour the delights that it has to offer. There is much and varied scenery, all within a relatively short distance. Wilt would have the opportunity to drive his Range Rover safe in the knowledge that there are only maybe a half dozen fixed speed cameras in the entire country, unlike North Wales which has an army of them everywhere. There are mobile cameras around and unmarked police cars but nothing to rival North Wales.
ReplyDeleteI thought for a moment you were going to say Salem, just outside of Boston Mass - a nice place provided you are not a witch. Are you sure it is Salem in Oregon? Mind you the mad twat would fit in well in both places!
ReplyDeleteWilt
Dear Watchful
ReplyDeleteWe have one (indeed a couple) of those cunning devices that tells you where all the fixed and mobile speed cameras are – not inclusive unfortunately of unmarked police cars.
The Egyptians however have a more cunning device – an AK47 held by very smartly dressed policemen (not women) at the front of every hotel, on every corner and intersection. Why issue a speeding ticket when you can blow the offenders head off? It saves on administration costs – I must write to the Telegraph about this alternative process of justice.
I suppose, in a sense, it must be like visiting Belfast (or parts of) a decade or so ago, but without the speed cameras. So you see, Watchful, in a way I am experiencing Belfast except that the nice police officer has a darker tan and does not drink Guinness – more to his loss.
I did a few years ago have a series of contracts in Donegal and Wexford where the Guinness flows very freely and smoothly. And, very strangely, the sun shone most of the time. The hotels in Wexford were fine, whilst in Donegal it was a little like, um fucking rubbish. You ever been to Budoran? It’s like Blackpool without the lights, which I can only imagine as I have never been to Blackpool. What a fucking shithole. I gather however many a Belfast person loves it.
Dublin, the not so fine city, does have its highlights and for certain very good bars, places to eat and some very fine scenery and people. The trouble is, it’s (the City) full of alcoholic and/or drug filled robbery artists (muggers) who, to their cost, somewhat underestimated the capacity of a Salty Dog to disarm them of a knife – a bloody wrist a followed, together with a bloody leg and Salty Dog with some spherical male objects for dinner – nice men that they feed Salty Dog.
I trust you and Andy et al will be keeping Regulator Watch feeling warm, comfortable and loved in my absence, albeit (sadly) a few weeks hence yet, whilst the Wilt’s are on sojourn? We will be keeping up but the hotel Wi-Fi is a bit cranky that far into the desert.
Wilt
Never mind - have a safe and enjoyable trip and I hope that you enjoy your time away more than the time you spent in Bundoran, a place which never crops up on my radar by choice for obvious reasons. When you come back and eventually return to North wales you will be able to resume your acquaintance with those sneaky bastard speed cops there who hang out disguised in horse boxes at the side of the road. What complete assholes they are. At least here they still use vehicles with police markings on them even if they use vans with one door open and only the stripe on the other side to be seen.
ReplyDeleteI gather from a relative who has just returned today from Egypt that it is mighty hot out there at present. Never mind, when you come back you will be the perfect candidate to sign up to www.friedsocialworker.com...
I am not going until September - bit cooler then, though not much. Egypt is not a place to go in high summer.
ReplyDeleteWilt