Blowing out the candle.............

Happy birthday Regulator Watch – you are one year old.

On 14^th May 2009 Regulator Watch went live and is now a worldwide phenomenon with a hoard of regular readers, contributors and stalkers. Of course our number one fan is Mrs C from her hovel in Warwickshire together with her numerous entourage of people to whom she complains – the list is far too long and boring.

Wilt having recently made his epic sail from the Mediterranean to the shores of his homeland is back and has gathered much information from Malta. It’s enough to make an old Templar cry in laughter. Much fun will be had. Not so much as lost or stolen files as brand new files – that should get the Information Commissioner and a poor harassed constable of Banbury a phone call. Shiver me timbers mates, the Wilt is back yet again from his sojourn. More travel (business) is on the near horizon, although this time via tarmac and airports as distinct from choppy seas. There might just be a few Salty Dog trips to North Wales – you bet there will.

But what a year Regulator Watch has seen – it has created a bit of a stir among the regulators in social care, the social care press and the press as a whole. Not to mention interest from some political figures and the like minded reasonable thinking people of the Wilt age i.e. sceptical friends of social care (like a critical friend). The police have had complaints (at least two police forces) from Mrs C (bless her), as have the GSCC and a host of other quango and government agencies. A huge fan has of course been James (The Dunes) Plaskitt, now a former MP of Warwick and Leamington Spa, and those he enlisted in his support - various Ministers, Ofsted and the Information Commissioner. All in an effort to close down Regulator Watch and find out who this dreaded Wilt is – they think they know who he is but it is belly breaking with laughter to keep them guessing. It is even more amusing, to Wilt at least, to know that in this hide and seek game that they are nowhere near warm, let alone hot.

It is of course very odd, in fact absolutely crass and indefensible, that on the one hand Mrs C and Dork Plaskitt try to gag Wilt whilst Mrs C breaches every aspect of confidentiality at will and Plaskitt attempted to exclude MPs from FOI requests – fucking brilliant. In true “1984” style this pair wanted to rewrite history and prevent any dissent or opposition. Now in the case of Mrs C she can be understood, she is a simple minded plebeian, but Plaskitt read PPE at Oxford – he must have missed the lectures on democracy.  Fucking Dorks, the pair of them - George Orwell will be laughing in his grave and saying “I told you.” Not that I am suggesting that Mrs C and Plaskitt are Mr and Mrs Stalin – well actually, I am!

And how UK politics have changed – apart from the decimation of Plaskitt! Gordon the Cyclops has gone after tearing out his fingernails hanging onto his desk, Ed the Ferkin Balls is a “has been” (but still an evil looking/acting bastard) and “Dave” the man is farting in the same place where Gordon frequently experienced dysentery – the Number 10 PMs private bathroom. It is rumoured that the party manifesto is used as a bog role!  We have hopes for Dave, after all he got our vote, and our local Conservative MP reckons that this coalition will result in real change.

We can but hope.

The year ahead is going to be very choppy – not only in wave action terms but also in CUTS. Big CUTS! We approve.  Big government (Whitehall/quango) will suffer immense trauma and just several hundred thousands of people will be looking for “real” jobs – you know, like earning a living.  No huge pay offs, a few quid and here is your P45. Oh, and don’t bother attempting to claim dole money cos you will effectively sign up to a contract of doing community work – Wilt needs his lawns, flower borders and fish pond tending to, and a few paint jobs. He will even let you clean his 3 cars. These (so called “employed”) scroungers will become nothing more than the drug taking alcoholics they think themselves to be above – they will all become very reliant on the decreasing state subsidies of other scroungers and beggars, notwithstanding “Cyclops” created a whole host of decent people unemployed through no fault in their work ethic.

And it will not just be Whitehall/quango. Hello local government – the smile is about to be wiped from your face.  A cut of 30% (in numerous places around the UK) will result in major job losses too. Again, we approve. Wilt is not aware of any local authority that will not make cuts in the range of 10 to 20%.

Business, including that of Wilt’s will boom for sure. Gone will be the influx of cheap labour from abroad as the increasing domestic workforce market “gets real” in terms of available options and enterprise flourishes – no longer the Albanian weekly car wash and more like the Swindon Cooperative of Ex-Government Employees Franchise Car Wash. So that these nice Whitehall and quango people fully understand, the current (Albanian) cost of a complete valet of a car is £10 (less the charitable on-cost for pension fund), is usually involving 3 persons, it takes about 30 minutes and they smile. OK they (Albanians) sleep 15 to a room (Gawd the smell must be awful) and might get pissed (for US readers – drunk) on occasion, and at which times lock up your daughters and sons, but you know, it is their choice and for them at least it provides a means to a living.  They certainly provide a service which I will pay for, and do so weekly. How then will our domestic workforce respond in the light of a choice between jobs/enterprise and a reduction in benefits?

We will see.

Anyway, it’s party time and I have to go blow out the candle on the birthday cake.

Wilt